This Thanksgiving at my mom’s I had three of my four sisters
there as well as our own kids and also my son’s college friends. In all, we had thirty people gathered to have
a great time enjoying one another’s company.
We discussed the usual: politics, education, jobs, and our children. Of course football was on the television,
creating more noise adding to the chaos already there. We do not always agree on politics or even
education, so you can imagine how loud it might get when everyone is trying to
give their expert opinion. At times
feelings might get hurt but in the end we can all leave with the understanding
that we love each other because we are family.
We know we will never agree on all topics but through the years we have
developed a relationship that allows for us to express our opinions and still
know that we will continue to be a part of the family.
Building strong relationships are key to many facets of
one’s life and no truer than in education with the student/teacher
relationship. Advocates
of evidence based education know that students who have constructive
relationships with their teachers are more likely to do well at school, and
teachers who actively build such relationships have a strong effect on the
lives of their students.
When students see that their
teacher care about them they tend to want to go the extra mile to get their
work done and they begin to think more positive about school in general.
Research continues to back up the
fact that if you genuinely show care for your students that they will achieve
higher. However, this doesn’t mean that
you should be too permissive. Students like order and security, but they also
need to know you have nothing but their best intentions at heart.
Finding that middle ground of being
an authoritarian as well as friendly can be difficult, but it can be done; it
just takes time. If a teacher is only
authoritative, having high expectations but does not show students that he/she
cares, the students tend to not take risks, and it becomes the teacher vs. the
student, resulting in ‘I’m right, your wrong’ attitudes. On the opposite side is the friendly teacher
who cares more about his/her students’ self-esteem than their work. This tends
to cause students to develop mediocrity.
It is only when we can combine the two styles together that we truly can
get students to achieve more. Teachers
who have high expectations as well as genuine care for their students is when
learning becomes fun.