"The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called "truth." ~Dan Rather

This Thanksgiving at my mom’s I had three of my four sisters there as well as our own kids and also my son’s college friends.  In all, we had thirty people gathered to have a great time enjoying one another’s company.  We discussed the usual: politics, education, jobs, and our children.  Of course football was on the television, creating more noise adding to the chaos already there.  We do not always agree on politics or even education, so you can imagine how loud it might get when everyone is trying to give their expert opinion.  At times feelings might get hurt but in the end we can all leave with the understanding that we love each other because we are family.  We know we will never agree on all topics but through the years we have developed a relationship that allows for us to express our opinions and still know that we will continue to be a part of the family. 

Building strong relationships are key to many facets of one’s life and no truer than in education with the student/teacher relationship.  Advocates of evidence based education know that students who have constructive relationships with their teachers are more likely to do well at school, and teachers who actively build such relationships have a strong effect on the lives of their students.

When students see that their teacher care about them they tend to want to go the extra mile to get their work done and they begin to think more positive about school in general.

Research continues to back up the fact that if you genuinely show care for your students that they will achieve higher.  However, this doesn’t mean that you should be too permissive. Students like order and security, but they also need to know you have nothing but their best intentions at heart. 

Finding that middle ground of being an authoritarian as well as friendly can be difficult, but it can be done; it just takes time.  If a teacher is only authoritative, having high expectations but does not show students that he/she cares, the students tend to not take risks, and it becomes the teacher vs. the student, resulting in ‘I’m right, your wrong’ attitudes.  On the opposite side is the friendly teacher who cares more about his/her students’ self-esteem than their work. This tends to cause students to develop mediocrity.  It is only when we can combine the two styles together that we truly can get students to achieve more.  Teachers who have high expectations as well as genuine care for their students is when learning becomes fun.

But, like a family relationship, there will be ups and downs, so it is important that parents, teachers, and students work out any differences they might have.  There is too much research to ignore that positive relationships and high expectations are keys to a productive future.